I Can't Go Back
by Dat's Da It
Summary: Seven years have passed since Sasuke left Konoha. Sakura is doing well and is even engaged. But will her seemingly perfect world be shattered when Sasuke comes back into the picture? Who will she choose? Her childhood love or her fiancee?
1. The Beginning

Has it really been seven years since I last saw him. His face was that of a fallen angel's. Sasuke: my enigma. You were my everything. Why did you leave? I would have left everything and gone with you, just to stay by your side. But you left, leaving me alone like an orphan lost in the cold unforgiving rain.

"Sakura?"

It took a moment for Sakura to realize that someone was talking to her, ".. what? Oh I'm sorry Shizune, I must have lost track of my thoughts."

"hmmm... yes, well Tsunade-sama wishes to speak with you"

"Tell her I'll be right in", slowly Sakura rose from her seat, and in a businesslike manner entered her tutor's, the fifth hokage's, office.

Lately, Tsunade had been giving Sakura work 24/7. Sakura didn't mind, work kept her mind off of other things, namely Sasuke. Sakura had convinced herself a million times over that she was over Sasuke. She was even engaged to be married which at least put half her mind at ease. The other half continuously gave her hell over her "betrayal" to Sasuke.

"Sakura-san sit down please"

_"Sakura-san?", since when does Tsunade-sama speak formally, in front of me? Something important has happened._ Sakura braced herself for news she was bound to not like.

"Anbu has recently given me some disturbing reports in concern to Orochimaru's doings. Because of these reports I'm sending you on a classified A-rank mission. I don't think I need to explain how important its secrecy is. Not even Naruto is to know about it."

"You are to go with a team of two Anbu, both have been chosen by me already, and do a reconosance of Konoha's outer perimeters. It sounds simple enough, but reports have come in saying that Sound nin have been spotted in that general region. This mission will begin tomorrow morning. Is that understood?

"Hai!"

"Until tomorrow then. Sakura you are dismissed, now go home and get some sleep Sakura-chan. You have a big day ahead of you. Besides, Hotaru will wonder where you are if you don't show up for dinner soon.

Sakura bowed and left the legendary nin's office, relieved that she could go home. Obeying orders came naturally to Sakura, it made things less complicated. She bid Shizune goodnight, and stepped onto the path that would lead her home.


	2. Life at Home

Slowly Sakura made her way home. She was sure to find her smiling fiancee, Hotaru, there. He usually made her happy, but tonight was different, and she couldn't explain why.

"I'm just overworked, that's all", she told herself in an unconvincing voice. At her front door she wavered over whether or not she would enter, but before she could reach a decision the door was flung open to reveal Naruto with his trademark grin plastered across his face.

"Sakura-chan!", he yelled boisterously.

"N-N-Naruto-kun! What are you doing here?", she gasped, caught off guard at seeing Naruto inside her house. Suddenly, the reality that Naruto was in her house without permission, sank in. "What are you doing in_ my _house Naruto?", she growled menacingly.

"S-S-Sakuran-chan it's okay, Hotaru invited me over for dinner",he quickly replied, so as not to end up at the bottom of a crater.

"Oh Sakura you're home"

Sakura looked up to see the smiling visage of her fiancee. It wouldn't be a lie to say Hotaru was quite handsome. His eyes had a color reminiscent to that found in storm clouds, and his hair had a sheen like that of polished cherry wood. His complexion didn't compare to the porcelain starkness of Sasuke's, but it held a certain charm of its own. It was the warm friendly kitchen to Sasuke's cold, yet frighteningly beautiful cathedral. Hotaru was three years older than Sakura, and worked with Iruka sensei at the academy, training Konoha's youngsters. Both knew that Sakura was stronger and more skillful than him, but it didn't matter. He was able to block out the memory of her former teammate, and that was more important than anything else to her.

He walked up and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Sakura didn't notice, but Naruto made a slight twitch. He could never accept another man being with Sakura. It wasn't because he was jealous. He had gotten over her rejection years ago and realized it had only been a childhood crush. No, it was because, deep down, he still felt Sakura was Sasuke's. He knew that if he ever told her his feelings, there wouldn't be enough of him left to even cremate. Naruto had come to terms with his sentiments, because he enjoyed seeing Sakura happy with someone other than Sasuke. He had been nervous about how Sakura would handle Sasuke's leaving, especially after his empty handed return so many years ago. At last she had found someone to replace Sasuke with, and this was good thing because Sasuke was dead, or as good as, to the village hidden in the leaves.

"Sakura, I invited Naruto over for dinner. He was going to eat at the Ichiraku Ramen with Iruka-san, but Iruka was held up by paperwork and had to break their engagement. You should have seen Naruto. He was so crestfallen that I took pity on him, and invited him over." Sakura quickly gave in and agreed that it would be a pleasure having Naruto over for dinner. He immediately began listing off food they should eat. All of his options had ramen somewhere in the title.

"Naruto we are not eating ramen!", she yelled exasperatingly.

"But Sakura-chan!", he whined. No matter how old he got, Naruto always reverted to his thirteen-year-old self around Sakura. She was one of his 'precious people' after all. Now, Naruto definitely used 'precious' in the broadest sense of the term, but the members of Team 7: Sakura, Sasuke, Kakashi; they held a special place in Naruto's heart. They were the closest thing to family that Naruto ever had.

"All right, but only one ramen dish." The effect of this statement was immediate, and Sakura couldn't help but laugh at the grin plastered across the blue eyed nin's face.

After dinner was over, and Naruto had left for home, Sakura remembered about her mission. An uneasy sensation soon followed, which was confusing, because missions never made her nervous. She decided that a good night's sleep would cure whatever was ailing her. "Tsunade-sama hinted at there being a lot of work tomorrow, so I think I'll turn in early tonight, Hotaru." She had gotten halfway up the stairs, when--

"Sakura is anything bothering you?", Hotaru looked at her with concern in his eyes. Was her anxiety that obvious on her face? No, it was only Hotaru. His ability to sense agitation in Sakura was uncanny.

"What would make you say that Hotaru? No, I'm perfectly fine", she paused. "I'll see you tomorrow." She saw no point in sharing her feelings with him, especially since they were related to tomorrow's classified mission. She didn't like the idea of going on a mission without him knowing. It felt sneaky, like someone having an affair. This was ridiculous, of course, because the Hokage had ordered her to do this mission. Unfortunately, rationalizing didn't make her feel any better.


	3. The Mission

Sakura woke up before dawn, sleep hadn't cured her of uneasiness. Getting ready was a matter of minutes, easy for a jounin with her abilities. Tying on her forehead protector she turned to leave, but found she was held back by some invisible force. She paused and then walked over to the sleeping form of her fiancee.She gazed down with shinobi eyes. Emotionless eyes that were necessary if she wanted to remain alive on a mission. Eyes she had first seen long ago when Kakashi-sensei battled Zabuza the errant ninja. Then those eyes were gone, and she was once again looking down on the man she had agreed to marry. "I love you," she softly whispered.

**_No, You Don't ! _**Sakura knew that voice. It was her alter-ego, who had a bad habit of showing up when she was least wanted, like right now.

_Stop it, I've already made up my mind and I'm fine with the decision_

**_Stop deluding yourself, how can you stand being so hypocritical?_**

_enough. _She didn't have time to listen to this. She had more important things to do.

**_Gosh Sakura why don't you just roll over and give up on life? Just like you gave up on Sasuke. _**Apparently commands still didn't work on this Sakura.

_Stop it!_ This time it was said with a little less self-control.

_**Oh scared of the truth? **_

_Stop It! No more, I've waited for him for seven years. Seven torturous fruitless years. I've sacrificed enough of my life for HIM, but no more. I may not be as madly in love with Hotaru as I was with Sasuke, but at least I can be happy with him. At least__ I can trust him not to break my heart. I'm not strong enough to keep waiting for someone who never showed me any love or affection. No one's that strong._

No one answered her this time. She gazed at Hotaru a second more, kissed his cheek, and left the house.

By the time Sakura reached Tsunade's office she had rid her mind of everything, except the mission ahead of her. It was the skilled jounin that entered the Hokage's office, not the friend and valued pupil of Tsunade-hime.

"Enter", with this command Sakura walked in, ready to receive her instructions. "I will give you quick instructions and then you will go. This mission is exactly what I told you, a reconosance mission. Your objective is to search the entire perimeter of Konoha for any spies of Orochimaru. If any operative of his is found, you are to return immediately. If attacked, defensive maneuvers are allowed to be used only for escape. You are forbidden to take any offensive action. While on this mission you will wear a standard Anbu mask. Removal of your mask on this mission, **for any reason**, is forbidden. If no enemy operatives are found around the perimeters then you will report back to me ASAP. Should you violate any of the instructions that I have just given you, you will be placed on trial for insubordination. Are there any questions?" Sakura remained at attention, for she didn't have any questions that needed answering. It was a simple mission that had enough risk to be labeled as "A-rank", nothing more. "Sakura if you do not return by noon a team will be sent out for you." Tsunade then walked over to Sakura and pulled her into a hug, "Good Luck".

Sakura soon found herself wearing a fox mask and speeding through the forest with two members of Anbu. All her senses were on full alert. This was the type of mission that could turn sour very quickly if she wasn't careful. By the time they had reached the halfway mark nothing had appeared. Suddenly she sensed two chakras three hundred feet in front of her. She immediately masked her chakra and gave a signal to the two Anbu to do the same. She quickly instructed them to return to Tsunade, and report that two Shinobi had been spotted. She would stay behind, long enough to identify where the shinobi had come from, and then return. After she gave the instructions the two Anbu headed back towards Konoha, while Sakura stealthily moved forward. At the point where she could hear them distinctly she stopped. In the shadow, of the tree she was perched in, she could make out the shapes of two men, deep in a heated debate.

"Kabuto how many times have I told you not to follow me." said a masculine voice softly, but threateningly. If voices had texture this one would bring to mind a pool of water, smooth and black, with ripples denoting change in expression. Sakura had never heard a voice like this before; it frightened and excited her at the same time.

_So Kabuto is here. I don't know who the other one is, except for the fact that he's male. _Sakura was about to return to Konoha, when suddenly her interest was piqued by the two men's conversation.

"I apologize Ainoko-sama" Kabuto replied sarcastically, "But Orochimaru-sama has instructed me to make sure that nothing harms your precious body. After all some would say it a crime for you to have a single scar upon you."

_Half-blood? What a strange name. And it seems that, even though they're both working for Orochimaru, they dislike each other. Kabuto's voice was dripping with disdain when he said sama. _All thought of returning to Konoha left her as she was sucked into the conversation going on below her. She suddenly noticed how quiet it had become, too much for her liking. She looked down only to have her insides freeze over. Both Kabuto and the mysterious nin were gone. _Fuck! I lost track of them. I gotta get outta here before I'm found._

"Why, it looks as if we have a little wall flower hanging onto our conversation"

"Be quiet Kabuto and let me handle this"

Both men remained hidden. They were on either side of her and by the sound of it she would either have to fight both of them or make a run for it. Seeing as it would be two against one she chose the latter. Before anything else could be said, Sakura ran for it.

"I hate it when they run." Kabuto said with a sadistic smile.

Sakura didn't waste time looking over her shoulder as she sped towards her goal: Konoha. But before she could comprehend what happened she had charged straight into the anonymous shinobi, who has been made known to us as Ainoko-sama ._ What the hell? How could he have caught up so quickly?_

"You're coming with us" he commanded, in a voice that expected obeisance, as he held her wrists above her.

_Not a chance!_ With that Sakura took him by surprise and head butted him in the forehead. Being only second in strength to Tsunade, you can imagine how much that would hurt. It worked. Obviously this man had never suspected kunoichis of such power, or audacity. Sakura took her chance and continued towards Konoha. That was until she suddenly fell herself falling.

"Well it seems that Kabuto has to use his wit to save the day, yet again. Oh, and don't even think about trying to run away little kunoichi. Well, it doesn't matter, you couldn't run away even if you wanted to. The tendons in your ankles have just been severed, so there's no possible way for you to move."

_Cut my ankle tendons? Ha ! Kabuto, if that's the worst you can do to me, then you're obviously not the medic-nin I thought you to be._ She quickly formed the precise amount of chakra needed to heal herself and jumped into the trees, and out of sight.

"You didn't see that coming Kabuto-san. Maybe now you'll talk less on missions and give my ears a break" retorted the nameless nin, this time amusement entering his tone at his partner's failure to apprehend their target.

"So we finally find a shinobi that can actually spice up a chase. Well we shouldn't be rude Ainoko-sama. She has invited us to work harder at catching her and we must accept her invitation. We wouldn't want to be rude after all." He said this sarcastically, and with a hint of pleasure that didn't bode well for Sakura's fate.

_Okay I'm almost there. _Sakura could see the walls of Konoha village rising in front of her. At last she had made it to safety. Then her entire world went black.

"Well so much for fun. You always have to make everything so clean cut don't you Sasuke-kun?"


	4. The SetUp

"Enough, Kabuto. You know Orochimaru's orders." Kabuto was tiresome. If he hadn't been Orochimaru's right hand man, Sasuke would have killed him long ago.

"Give it a rest Sasuke. Orochimaru's ass can go for one second without you kissing it." said Kabuto exasperatingly.

A vein in Sasuke's forehead twitched ominously. Remarks against his masculinity usually ended with the speaker being dead, or in extreme amounts of pain. But Kabuto was exempt from this policy, and he wasted no time in abusing this fact.

"Kabuto remove her mask." Making commands, even to Kabuto, came naturally to Sasuke. Being second only to Orochimaru allowed him many priveledges. Kabuto knew this, and had to obey him; leaving Sasuke with the last laugh. The identity of the mask's owner soon changed that.

"Well isn't this a surprise,"Kabuto remarked with limitless sadistic joy,"little Sakura." taking time to slowly pronounce her name as if she were a rare collectible."How long has it been since you last saw her Sasuke? Going on seven years now, isn't it? Time has worked wonders on her. Who'd have thought that such a scawny little nothing would fill out so nicely? Orochimaru-sama will be extremely pleased with this. I'd be nervous if I were you, though. Orochimaru will see this as an excellent opportunity for testing your loyalty to Sound village. That should be easy enough, unless you still have feelings for Konoha?" Sasuke's face remained cold and empty.

"I will do what Orochimaru-sama commands of me. I don't waste time on sentimental fools, or their villages." It was enough to make Kabuto quiet.

When they reached Sound village the sun was setting. Kabuto headed off towards Orochimaru; informing him of their mission's full report. Sasuke went in a different direction, Sakura flung over his back. Before they had arrived Sasuke and Kabuto agreed that Sakura be watched at all times, at least until she regained consciousness. Her full capabilities were still unknown, and neither wanted to risk an escape. Sasuke didn't consider keeping her in his room a hazard. His room could be described by one word, austere. It consisted of a bed that was more like a stone bench with some blankets piled on top, and a desk covered with scrolls. The only light available was that of torches along the hallway. Sasuke placed her on the bed and returned with two torches placing each in a wall bracket. After he had finished and sat down on his desk chair, Kabuto walked in.

"Orochimaru says you are to stay with her until she regains consciousness. Once she does you are to bring her to him."

"Was that it?"

"Yes."

"It will take at least 36 hours before that narcotic wears off."

"You think I don't know that, Sasuke? Have fun getting reacquainted." And with this last sarcastic remark Kabuto left, leaving Sasuke with the slow diminishing sound of Kabuto's laughter.


End file.
